I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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