My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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