just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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