Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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