i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
