Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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