do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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