# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Randomize
