Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize