You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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