...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
