i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
