I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
