just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
