If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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