ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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