Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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