ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
