her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
