i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have aggressive nipples.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
