is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
