She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize