my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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