I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
