It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
