worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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