just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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