i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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