oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
