Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I have post one night stand depression
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