She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
