I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
