Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
