dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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