he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
