the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
