so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
