I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
