wat bout pragnant strippers??
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
