he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize