I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This is the high leading the old right now
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
