your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
