found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
