This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
