my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
