I wish i was in the wii world.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
