I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
