Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
