This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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