Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
