brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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