yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
