We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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