Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
