yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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