My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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