I cockslap morals
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
