Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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