youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
