Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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