I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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