I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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