Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
