best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
