Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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