hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
