my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize