I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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